Law enforcement is a profession with no room for error. This level of pressure faced by military members and first responders, professionals commonly referred to as sheepdogs, is one reason it is so important to stay laser-focused on your marriage and aware of potential dangers in the home. For example, when you are spiritually disobedient to the commands God has given, you invite trust-killers into your marriage. Although many trust-killers are unrecognizable in the early stages, preemptive strategies can help thwart their continued operation.
Maybe one or both of you have invited trust-killers into your marriage either knowingly or unknowingly. For example, when things get difficult, do you choose to remain silent, avoid conflict, or keep secrets from each other? Maybe, without the knowledge of your spouse, you choose to talk about your problems with someone else. Or perhaps the trust-killers are issues of anger or substance abuse. The bottom line is if it doesn’t build or nurture trust between you, it is likely killing your marriage. This doesn’t mean either of you should feel on edge about making a mistake, but you should both be aware and conscious of the effects of your actions. Don’t get so caught up in the grind of daily living that you lose sight of the beautiful gift God has given you. Take action against trust-killers by spending quality time with your spouse in prayer every day.
Doing the right thing often doesn’t come easily; be so intensely determined to protect and nurture your marriage that it becomes a part of your daily life. A few trust killers are anger, silence, lust, secrets, lies, and apathy. Aggressively seek to control or eliminate these trust-killers in your life. Today, recognize the symptoms and signs of trust-killers in your marriage and take the necessary steps to remove them from your life.
Think about the number of things you do daily without even thinking about it—grooming, hygiene, tying your shoes, blinking, and most of those happen before you start your day. It’s part of your nature. That’s why you likely don’t give it a second thought before doing it! Do one thing every day to improve your relationship with your spouse, whether that’s breaking a bad habit of yours or changing something about yourself. Surrendering to your negative emotions and desires will bring temporary satisfaction, but it will cause permanent harm to your marriage. Today, pray with your spouse about eliminating trust-killers from your relationship.
Marriage isn’t a blame game. When things go bad, it can be tempting to point fingers. Now is the time to recognize the issues that can lead to deeper problems in the future and address them completely. Instead of sarcasm, speak with sincerity. Instead of subtle slights, speak with love and the grace of God. There’s no magical formula to a successful marriage, and there’s no secret recipe; it requires both spouses humbly loving, gently serving, and relentlessly pursuing each other. Today, ask your spouse to share with you their thoughts on the presence of trust-killers in your marriage. Be realistic and honest. Then pray together for the wisdom in how to deal with those trust-killers.
‘for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. ‘ James 1:20
Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us the ability to recognize the presence of dangerous elements in our marriage. We ask you to give us the wisdom to do our part, and for you to remove the trust-killers from our lives. Amen.