| What is one thing your person probably likes about themselves—but perhaps thinks that you don’t? (Their strong opinions, which you see as being uncompromising; their ability to go with the flow, which you see as never being on time; their interest in art, when you wish they would focus on math….) Today, compliment them in the area they think you dislike. (“I saw how you were so willing to stop what you were doing when Kayla needed to talk; I could learn from your flexibility.”) Bonus points if you can do it in print (a note, an email…) that they can look back on just to be sure you did indeed say that! Coach’s Corner: Even in affectionate relationships, people sometimes have defenses up about those areas where they know someone disapproves. They build walls. The research found that when you are kind about those areas where they expect disapproval it melts through those walls. (In other words: Kindness is a superpower! See Chapter 2 for the other superpowers kindness gives you.) Coach’s Checkup: How are you doing at tackling each of the three Challenge elements each day? Be careful not to think of these daily hints as the Challenge itself. They are simply helpful ideas for doing one of the three elements—saying nothing negative, saying words of praise and doing an act of generosity—each day. ‘Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. ‘ Romans 15:1-2 |
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Day 4. Counter Intuitive Compliments
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