Thaw A Marriage

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. — Cynthia Occelli

A while back I read this tweet from a teenager: “My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.”

Ahhh, that’s a springtime sentiment, isn’t it? I kind of want to whisper to her, “Summer is coming!”

Here in Texas, we call summer the Dawg Days. It’s hot, humid, and never-ending. In marriage, we call summer the season of babies and sleepless nights (or infertility and yearnings for a medical miracle). There’s carpooling, career-building, and house-buying. Don’t forget the school sports and club sports.

During the Dawg Days of marriage, husband and wife become coworkers—checking off the list, trying to keep up, and falling into bed each night exhausted, covered in sweat.

This goes on for 20 years. Summer for 20 years!

These summer days really affect the fall. As the children grow and the rat race slows, you two will either fall deeper in love, or you’ll fall apart.

If you fall deeper in love, fall becomes a glorious season. It’s all about the small talk over breakfast and swinging on the back porch.

But if your marriage is falling apart, you’ve already learned that you can be married and lonely. Unresolved anger ebbs into a feeling of desperation. You can’t live like this! Something has to change!

This place of discontentment—this “We can’t live it, so let’s end it” mentality—is winter. I don’t want your marriage to be winterized. But if you’re already there, I have a secret to share: A demonstration of love brings life.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

To anyone at the foot of the cross, it looked like total defeat—destruction of the Great Teacher. To those of us who believe, His demonstration of love gives eternal life by a Savior. It’s not the running-through-the-airport springtime kind of love. It’s better than that—and it’s always available through Jesus, to anyone who needs a cool drink of water.

Lord, show me the season of my own marriage. If we’re in summer, strengthen our love for fall. If it’s winter, break open our hard shells so love can grow. But in all seasons, I surrender to Your Spirit, humbly asking that You will love through me in a supernatural way. I want to learn the art of love-filled demonstrations. Show me the way today. Amen.


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