Keeping Score

This verse comes in the middle of a lot of helpful advice for living, directly from Jesus. When I think about this verse in the context of marriage, I immediately think about the act of “keeping score.”

Think about it: the goal of marriage is to remain lifelong partners. When you’re with someone almost every day, for years upon years, it’s not hard to let small things add up. That’s a lot of “points” to track!

While almost everyone knows that forgiveness plays an important role in marriage, it’s easy to miss the strong advice that Jesus gives: to live with a daily habit of forgiveness. At the very least, that means no more keeping score!

The last part of Luke 6:37, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven,” reminds me of James 5:16, which says “…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” In a healthy marriage, confessing faults to one another opens the door for receiving forgiveness. As much as we should easily forgive others—and especially our spouses—we should be able to receive forgiveness from others, as well.

It’s foundationally important to live in that forgiveness with each other. Not only forgiving each other for the big things, but a regular, shared connection where both partners can trust each other with their faults—perhaps even finding ways to celebrate your differences.

If we’re going to lay our lives down for each other in marriage (see John 15:13 and Ephesians 5:25), the very foundation of that is putting our spouse before ourselves. This means putting aside judgments, leaving condemnation behind, and offering forgiveness. It also means receiving forgiveness in turn, as trust and love grow from both sides of the relationship.

Set aside some time with your spouse this week to practice forgiveness together. Be open about areas where you know you have faults, and find out if there may be outstanding “points” for which you need forgiveness.

‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, ‘ Ephesians 5:25

Tommy George
YouVersion Engineer

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