Respect and Love

As married couples, we can find ourselves in a negative cycle of conflict. We argue and can’t seem to get past it. It is easy to think the answer lies within the details of who is right and who is wrong. 

But typically, we are not really arguing about what we are arguing about. It’s not really about the towel being left on the floor for the 1,000th time. It’s not really about her coming home late from work…again. 

It’s about something deeper. 

Paul reveals this deeper dynamic in Ephesians 5. In verse 22, married couples are commanded to mutually respect each other because both men and women need and crave respect from their spouse. 

Later in the chapter, Paul speaks to wives and husbands separately. Wives are called to unconditionally respect their husbands. And husbands are called to unconditionally love their wives. Without respect, husbands tend to react without love. Without love, wives tend react without respect… and around and around we go. That is a negative chase that married couples often get into. 

The great news is that there is a positive chase. When wives feel loved, they tend to react with respect, when men feel respected they tend to react with love…and around and around we go. This positive chase of respect and love… can help us to become… YOUR BEST US.

Action Step

You are only responsible for changing you. Leverage your last conflict to show your spouse unconditional love and respect by letting “it” go, apologizing, or seeking to better understand. 


God please change my heart so I can change my actions to be more loving and respectful towards my spouse. 

‘F or this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh . This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.’ EPHESIANS 5:31-33

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s