Marriage has enough surprises without a spouse putting up a “No Trespassing” sign and saying, “I’m not going to talk about the issues from my past that have shaped my life.” If you want to truly know your spouse, then you must get into those issues and create a deeper level of understanding and compassion between the two of you. Then, when one of life’s inevitable trials comes along, you’ll already have put into place a deep level of trust in each other.
Every marriage must be built on love-based commitment. Remember 1 John 4:18—“Perfect love casts out fear.” Is some guilty or shameful episode from your past tormenting you and saying, “Don’t share that! She’ll reject you”? If you are doing this, then your relationship is controlled by fear, not love. Don’t risk hiding something important from your spouse, regardless of how painful it may feel.
When love encounters past mistakes in the loved one, it says, “I embrace you. I receive you. I accept you. I cherish you. And, yes, I forgive you.”
The truth is, we have all fallen. All of us have done things we are tempted to hide. But Christ offers us grace, forgiveness, cleansing, and wholeness, all in plentiful supply.
‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. ‘ 1 JOHN 4:18